Love is the irresistable desire to be irresistably desired.
~ Robert Frost
I enjoy this quote, but I disagree. Maybe this defines longing or some other state of being Love cycles through, but let’s be frank: the irresistable desire to be desired is addiction.
We’re all addicted to something.
And while certain addictions get a horrible rap (heroin, alcohol, etc.), some of the most pervasive addictions causing widespread disarray are overlooked, and left unaddressed – treated real cutesy-cutesy so.
The fact is addictions are not created equal. However thus ‘n so, some of the most widely-accepted, strongly-promoted addictions are responsible for gross injustices and devastating blows to the heart and ego, body and soul.
Our addiction to the concept of romantic love is a perfect example.
We live in a sadistic culture that loves to punish the very behaviors it promotes. The end result: we’re all muffed up in one way or another, but we can change that.
Merriam and Webster define ADDICTION as:
noun. a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal
Let’s be clear: Love is a need. We’re made of it, from it and for it.
But the part that gets sticky and tricky is the romantic part. It’s as though we are perpetually exiting the dark ages and in need of constant inspiration – no! another fix or hit…you name it.
I confess, this column was conceived from my own desire to resolve an internal dilemma surrounding ideas about romantic love. I claim no expertise on the subject that has inspired the greatest works of art and provoked devastating wars.
However, I do believe it’s a worthwhile exploration because the nature of our particular addiction whispers loudly about our soul’s deepest desires. There is nothing more important than connection – sincere … authentic … true.
This column is for anyone – lovers, romantics, haters and skeptics alike – to explore the vast dynamic ocean of this Oz-like enigma from a place of wonder and curiosity, rather than certainty and hard lines.
My disclaimer: I know NOTHING. Trust me.