Life Recipe: Improving Intimate Relationships

“Nothing changes until we do.”

-a lotta folk

Someone asked me, “How can I make him change? I just want to make things better.”

The reply was simple. “You can’t.”

After I thought the shock factor had done its due, I added, “You can change. You can be better anytime you choose. You can change your focus … change your actions … change your mind … . But noone can permanently, and without ill consequence, change another. That job is bigger than us.”

The interesting thing, however, is that when we change, EVERYTHING changes.

I gave her a life recipe for improving non-abusive intimate relationships. It isn’t an easy one, but it works when you work it. During this recipe, there comes a point when your intuition kicks in. FOLLOW IT.

NOTE: If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help immediately. Do this recipe APART from your partner.

Life Recipe to Improve Your Relationship


  • faith/trust in the process
  • courage
  • patience with yourself and partner
  • commitment to see it through
  • desire for something different
  • time
  • a sacred space where you can be alone
  • paper and pen

Time: at least 28 days of committed action.

Special Instructions: This process is between you and a higher power. If you don’t believe in one, then it’s between you and your higher self. If you have a support person, ask for accountability.

  1. Take time to feel your feelings all the way through.
  2. Listen and accept the truth within. This is not the time for seeking external answers. Write the truth when you hear it.
  3. Ask: What do I truly desire? Be silent and still until you feel the answer. Write it.
  4. Create or designate a sacred space where you can be with yourself for at least 30 minutes daily, ideally an hour. A closet, bathroom, patio or nook will do just fine. You should be safe, uninterrupted and comfortable there.
  5. Commit to accepting your partner as is while taking your complaints to your sacred space daily. No more complaining or arguing, fighting the flow. Take your issues to your sacred space, and leave them there. Write them out, and ask for guidance. Wait. If you pray, PRAY. If you meditate, MEDITATE. If you chant, CHANT. If you do none of the above, ask your inner guidance system for a special way of releasing your frustrations healthily.
  6. Stick with it. It will feel like you’re a doormat or nothing is happening. It is. You know it is. You will feel it within, and that’s when the magick begins to work.

Happy New Moon in Cancer!


One thought on “Life Recipe: Improving Intimate Relationships

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