Lover’s Anonymous: Love’s Making

Love makes us stronger by helping us embrace what we once called ‘weakness.’

Vulnerability, actually.

That’s what we usually call “weakness.” In true, it’s the ability to be seen, touched and affected. And that can most certainly feel BOTH unnerving and intensely rewarding, depending on its reception.

I once led a workshop with young women. At the beginning of our session, I asked them to raise their hands if they felt alone or lonely. Almost every woman raised her arm.

The next directive warranted protestations of “I can’t” and “Oh my God!” from every mouth. We were to turn and face the woman next to us, hold her hand and gaze into each other’s eyes for 10 minutes. They like to have DIED; they could FEEL what was to come: vulnerability.

I could hear their hearts; I felt it too:

Someone might see something I don’t even want to see.

The 10 minutes dripped like molasses – even for me, although I’ve done this exercise many times. At its end, we sat in silence for a few moments, and then I said, “So…?”

Expressions of joy and wonder burst forth from their mouths at record-breaking speeds. They marveled together, laughed, cried, confessed…felt. 

I asked my initial question again:

“Who feels lonely or alone now?”

Not one hand went up.

I told them, “THAT is how connection feels.”

And it is.

We get high and heady on chemistry, but intimacy is the nectar.

Chemistry can take us only so far because chemical reactions eventually reach an equilibrium, and, when they do, we see what’s what.

Have chemical bonds formed? How easily are they broken? Have the elements transmuted or just had an intense reaction then returned to their individual poles?

I’m learning something of Love here…

Love makes us vulnerable. Love makes us. Love makes … Love.


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