Lover’s Anonymous: A Woman’s Worth

“It’s hard to give something away for free, and then turn around and demand payment for it.”

~this dude

The first thing I wondered was: does this apply to pussy too?

Although this guy was speaking about the business of professional boxing, I couldn’t help but to apply it to relationships – and the pervasive tug-of-war between the sexes.

Specifically, I was thinking about the “plight” of many women I know who choose to love men.

After some time, I came to this:

What’s a woman’s (love) worth in a “man’s world?” Do we get to decide, or are we relegated to becoming discounted products in a man’s market? 

Worth (n.): the level at which someone or something deserves to be valued or rated.

In a “man’s world,” women are frequently initiated into one of two (faulty, in my opinion) principles when faced with undesirable circumstances: deal with it or issue an ultimatum. Neither works in my experience because empowerment comes from CHOICE – not manipulation or tolerating what you cannot accept.

What we all desire is our birthright: the freedom to be truthfully and choose freely. 

I sat with the idea until I came to this liberating epiphany: power is wherever we believe it is. And those with power assign value to those who’ve relinquished their power.

It was then I saw that my initial question was premised on disempowered thinking.


There’s an African Proverb that says:

“Until the lion speaks, the tale will always glorify the hunter.”

And so I changed the question entirely:

What’s our (love) worth? What kind of world will we choose to create?

My (love) is worth my voice. My truth. My presence. Expression. I’m worth fresh water, belly laughter and love-infused intimate rendezvous with my partner melting into sweat and morning, pillow confessions and sprinkles of eyelid kisses. By being in my truth and my love, I am powerful, and I help create a world better than the one I came into.

Woman, what’s your (love) worth? 

He offered me diamonds and rubies too. I gave them back, and said, “I just want you.”

~ Asha Tane

2 thoughts on “Lover’s Anonymous: A Woman’s Worth

  1. THIS: “Neither works in my experience because empowerment comes from CHOICE – not manipulation or tolerating what you cannot accept.” …Brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

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