Experience is the only true knowing. Becoming is the greatest revolution.”

~Asha Tane’

We’ve heard the “rules of love” a million times, especially women. And they KEEP changing. It seems the world specializes in telling us how to make our love (or ourselves) better, last longer and all other manners of fuckery. Actually, women’s insecurities net billions of dollars for industries worldwide.

According to the Global Cosmetic Surgery & Services Market Analysis 2015-2019, the cosmetic surgery industry is worth over $20 billion, with vertical growth on the horizon. The number one continent: North America. The number one service: body contouring and implants. This is to say nothing of what this does to fuel patriarchy.

I digress.

I’ve tired of the how to’s  and 10 ways to make it last-type write ups. I mean, if those things were successful, then we wouldn’t need so many of them, year after year, decade after decade. AND I’m sure the cosmetic surgery industry wouldn’t be booming. We’d be happier with ourselves and there’d be a bigger boom in producing real food…or something as equally essential. (Damn, I keep ending up on this soapbox…*steps down*)

The fact remains, times aren’t changing: we are. More specifically, our MINDS are changing. We simply don’t see ourselves, or our surrounding world, the same.

Maybe it’s the covert hypnosis of technology or our agreement to mimick video vixens in our everyday lives. Either way, something’s off. Substantial relationships have have gone the way of long attention spans and reading.

When it comes to relationships, it’s a “man’s market.” And most have become a squirrel just tryna get a … you know.

“A woke woman is a dangerous one.”

~Asha Tane’

Over the next few weeks, I’ll drop a few insights that aren’t so popular when it comes to relating. Why? Because they aren’t GLAMOROUS. They require vulnerability, falling back, releasing pretense and truth telling.

In short: they require you to do the inside work.

This is no mate ‘n bate, westernized Kama Sutra-type vodun. It’s real wisdom that can shift your whole life — if you are brave. I call this

(R)evolutionary Relating

Practice of the Week: Stop Complaining.

We are no mindless victims; we choose. More importantly, complaining to another party can be a form of manipulation, as well as the very outlet that keeps us feeding a misplaced hope that may need to die. (Check this out: “Keeping Hope Alive Can Kill You.”)

When we shut up, we show up.

We become accountable and responsible for ourselves, and our happiness. Try it for 7 days. Just see…

Until next week…

Love always, and in all ways


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