“At some point, you gotta stop talking shit and be brave.”
– Something Within
I had an AHA Moment today:
I saw how my refusal to answer certain questions in life has kept me stuck. This exhausting pattern often finds me whining inside, “I’m just confused.”
That’s code for: “I haven’t reconciled my knowing with some other conflicting belief or desire within” OR “I’m very clear, and my clarity scares me shitless.”
Owned clarity precipitates action, and bears the built-in responsibility to choose…decide. Decisions always mean saying “no” to something … or someone. Always.
A few nights ago, I dreamt a woman climbed on top of me and said, “Derige” (DE-reh-zhay).
When I awoke, I thought it was a name, and so I searched for it as such. Spelled “Dereje” it is a male name. In Amharic and Ethiopian it means “he has evolved.”
I kept searching, and trying different spellings until I found this:
Derige (Latin): (conjugated in the second person) YOU steer, direct, point, align, guide
The message was clear: it’s time for me to decide (defined as “cutting away that which is unchosen”) my life direction. I accepted the wisdom.
Indecisiveness is a trick mirror: it appears to buy time to avoid consequence and responsibility, when in fact all it does is waste the raw material of life itself, Time.
An old friend once told me:
“Clarity comes through engagement, not thought.”
Sometimes we’ll never know until we DO IT.