Not Your Typical Affirmation

I am me. And that’s more than enough.


I awoke this morning thinking about Whitney Houston’s song,

“IIIIIIIIIIIIII’m every woman

it’s all in me…

ANYTHING you want done baby

I do it naturally…”

I have no idea why this was on my mind, but I chuckled thinking, “LIES!”

I remember the time I tried to make it truth, though. Now, I’ve traveled a bit more through time, and remembered some things I might’ve forgotten when cycling through for another human experience.

I am who I am, and that may not be for everybody.

And that’s as it ought be as well because whether it’s good to you or for you (or not), I’ll still be right where I am, being my full me.

Happy Thursday!

Life Recipe: Improving Intimate Relationships

“Nothing changes until we do.”

-a lotta folk

Someone asked me, “How can I make him change? I just want to make things better.”

The reply was simple. “You can’t.”

After I thought the shock factor had done its due, I added, “You can change. You can be better anytime you choose. You can change your focus … change your actions … change your mind … . But noone can permanently, and without ill consequence, change another. That job is bigger than us.”

The interesting thing, however, is that when we change, EVERYTHING changes.

I gave her a life recipe for improving non-abusive intimate relationships. It isn’t an easy one, but it works when you work it. During this recipe, there comes a point when your intuition kicks in. FOLLOW IT.

NOTE: If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help immediately. Do this recipe APART from your partner.

Life Recipe to Improve Your Relationship


  • faith/trust in the process
  • courage
  • patience with yourself and partner
  • commitment to see it through
  • desire for something different
  • time
  • a sacred space where you can be alone
  • paper and pen

Time: at least 28 days of committed action.

Special Instructions: This process is between you and a higher power. If you don’t believe in one, then it’s between you and your higher self. If you have a support person, ask for accountability.

  1. Take time to feel your feelings all the way through.
  2. Listen and accept the truth within. This is not the time for seeking external answers. Write the truth when you hear it.
  3. Ask: What do I truly desire? Be silent and still until you feel the answer. Write it.
  4. Create or designate a sacred space where you can be with yourself for at least 30 minutes daily, ideally an hour. A closet, bathroom, patio or nook will do just fine. You should be safe, uninterrupted and comfortable there.
  5. Commit to accepting your partner as is while taking your complaints to your sacred space daily. No more complaining or arguing, fighting the flow. Take your issues to your sacred space, and leave them there. Write them out, and ask for guidance. Wait. If you pray, PRAY. If you meditate, MEDITATE. If you chant, CHANT. If you do none of the above, ask your inner guidance system for a special way of releasing your frustrations healthily.
  6. Stick with it. It will feel like you’re a doormat or nothing is happening. It is. You know it is. You will feel it within, and that’s when the magick begins to work.

Happy New Moon in Cancer!


The Last Day of My Life

If today were the last day of my life, I wouldn’t want a traditional obituary.

Who needs to know when I was born or what degree I earned in university, how many children I did (or didn’t) have and how many exes I’ve collected? These do nothing for no one – just another pebble to toss on the pile.


I’d want to share the treasures of my heart, leave the way I lived: giving.

So…here goes:

  1. Love is all that matters. Not how hurt you’ve been or what “they say”…neither your fears nor your successes…all that will every matter is where you saw Love, felt Love, gave Love. I promise you – it’s the only thing that transforms.
  2. March to your own beat. As soon as you know your truest desire, ACT ON IT. Start with small consistent actions that speak your truth. You don’t have to tell anyone. You don’t need anyone’s permission. As the poet Rumi says: “What matters is how quickly you do what your soul directs.”
  3. Listen more than you speak. I suck at this one. With the time I have left, I will listen more to silence, nature, my lovers and loved ones, the sound of my fingers on the keyboard. There is beauty in asking with your undivided attention.
  4. Life is only as good as your questions. I was so consumed for the first 3 decades of my life with knowing the answer to so many things. Finally, I understand that my questions were often not deep enough. I would ask: “Does so-and-so love me?” when I really wanted to live the answer to “How does true Love feel?” You see? Ask the question. Live (into) the answer.
  5. All you have is NOW. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, not 3 years. If it means the world to you, DO IT NOW. SAY IT NOW. FEEL IT NOW. CHOOSE IT NOW. CHANGE IT NOW.
  6. Indecision shapes your life as much as choices. Whether you step up and decide what you will create, or wait for something to fall into your lap, your life will reflect your choice. And if you don’t like what you’re experiencing, choose something else.
  7. Fear isn’t real, but it will show you what is when you face it. If I lived my life facing one fear after another, I believe I would land exactly where I’m meant to be AS the person I decided to become when I chose to incarnate. Translation: if you don’t know what to do, find the fear and do what scares you. You will be pleasantly surprised.
  8. Always tell yourself the truth. Some of the biggest detours in my life have come from lying to myself. I’d try to make myself happy with things that didn’t resonate with my design or convince myself to stay in situations I’d want to leave. Telling myself the truth has been the scariest, most life-changing things I’ve done.
  9. Have more fun. I would laugh more…play more…relax more, and not take myself (and others) so damn seriously.